Passing on wealth: the conversation that probably didn't happen this Christmas

If you spent time with family over Christmas, you probably covered the usual topics: travel plans, work updates, maybe some gentle debate about the state of the world. But I'd bet there's one important conversation that didn't happen – even though it probably should have.

I'm talking about money, inheritance, and what happens when wealth passes from one generation to the next.

A Transfer of Historic Proportions

The UK is in the midst of the largest intergenerational wealth transfer in modern history. According to research by the Centre for Economics and Business Research, £5.5 trillion will pass between UK generations over the next 30 years.[^{^1}] Quilter Cheviot puts the figure even higher at £6 trillion.[²] To put that in perspective, that's roughly three times the size of the UK's GDP.

This isn't just about the ultra-wealthy. Rising property values – particularly here in South East London – mean more families than ever will face inheritance tax. HMRC collected a record £7.5 billion in inheritance tax in 2023/24.^{[^3}] The Office for Budget Responsibility forecasts this will rise to £9.1 billion by 2025-26.[^{^4}] More significantly, the OBR projects that approximately one in 10 deaths will incur inheritance tax by 2029-30. That's double the current proportion.[^{^5}]

The Elephant in the Living Room

So why, when the stakes are this high, do so many of us avoid these conversations?

In my experience working with families across our patch for over a decade, the reasons are deeply rooted in British culture. Money and death remain two of our most uncomfortable topics. Adult children worry about appearing greedy or intrusive. Parents fear losing control or creating expectations that might affect their children's ambition. And nobody wants to contemplate mortality when they'd rather be enjoying their time together.

But this silence comes at a cost.

The Nuffield Foundation found that over one-third of British households have received an intergenerational wealth transfer at some point.[^{^6}] Yet there's a significant expectations gap. Research from the Resolution Foundation shows that 42% of adults expect to give a transfer, while 53% expect to receive one.[^{^7}] When family members operate on different assumptions, surprises – and conflicts – are inevitable.

The Real Cost of Silence

I've sat in rooms where families discover for the first time that one sibling is receiving less than another. I've watched people struggle to manage inherited wealth they weren't prepared for. I've seen tax bills that could have been significantly reduced with some advance planning. Here's what happens when families don't have these conversations:

·        Unexpected outcomes – These rifts between siblings could have been avoided with open discussion while everyone was still around the table. The surprise is what causes the hurt, not necessarily the decision itself.

·        Unprepared heirs – The International Longevity Centre UK has documented a growing wealth gap between generations. Someone in their late 60s saw their median wealth increase by 46% between 2010-11 and 2019-20. Someone in their late 30s? Just 9% growth.[^{^8}] Yet many of those who will eventually inherit aren't prepared to manage it. Quilter Cheviot's research notes that 70% of families lose their wealth within two generations, and 90% within three generations[^{^9}] – often because the next generation wasn't equipped to preserve it.

·        Missed opportunities – Recent research from Quilter found that 18% of people aged 55-65 who received an inheritance would prefer to pass it straight on to the next generation.[^{^10}] But without open dialogue, givers don't know their children or grandchildren might benefit more from receiving help now. A house deposit, education, or starting a business could make a bigger difference than inheriting decades down the line.

·        Tax inefficiency – The inheritance tax nil-rate band has been frozen at £325,000 since 2009. In that same period, average house prices have risen by 87%. The average inheritance tax bill for those who pay it? £215,000 in 2021-22 according to HMRC.[^{^11}] That's a significant sum that could potentially be reduced with proper planning.

Making 2026 the Year You Start the Conversation

New Year resolutions are usually about personal change – losing weight, reading more books, learning a new skill. But here's a resolution that could benefit your whole family: make 2026 the year you tackle the topic of intergenerational wealth.

You don't need to have all the answers or know exact figures. You just need to start. The key is to begin with values, not numbers. Don't lead with "Here's what you're getting in my will." Instead, talk about what's important to you. What do you want your legacy to represent? What principles guided your approach to money and work? This makes the conversation about more than just pounds and pence.

Think of this as the beginning of a dialogue, not a single awkward conversation. You might begin by discussing general estate planning principles or sharing a relevant news article. Build from there. If you're an adult child wanting to discuss your parents' plans, approach it from a place of care: "I want to make sure we understand what's important to you" is easier to hear than "What's in the will?"

Sometimes naming the elephant in the room actually makes things easier. "I know this is uncomfortable to discuss, but..." can break the ice. And if the conversation feels too difficult to have alone, consider bringing in help. We often sit in on these family discussions precisely because we can ask the difficult questions and help family members hear each other without the emotional weight that comes with doing it alone.

Catriona, Rachael and I see these conversations as one of the most valuable things we help families with. Not because we love talking about death and taxes, but because we've seen the relief on people's faces when difficult topics finally get aired, and the pain that can be avoided when families communicate openly.

What We're Planning

This is why we're hosting an event on the evening of 10th February called "Keeping it in the Family." We'll be exploring both the practical strategies and the human side of intergenerational wealth transfer. Why these conversations matter so much, and how to approach them in a way that brings families together rather than driving them apart. More details to follow, but if this topic has been on your mind, save the date.

Your Challenge for January

If Christmas 2025 was the year the conversation didn't happen, perhaps 2026 can be different. The wealth that passes between generations isn't just financial – it's the values, the stories, and the principles that shape a family. But those things only transfer if we're willing to talk about them.

So here's my challenge: before the end of January, start the conversation. Pick up the phone. Send the email. Raise it over Sunday lunch. It doesn't need to be perfect. It just needs to begin.

If you'd like support in having these discussions, or want to make sure your own plans are in order, we're here to help.

[^{^1}]: Kings Court Trust/Centre for Economics and Business Research, "Passing on the Pounds – The rise of the UK's inheritance economy," May 2019 [^{^2}]: Quilter Cheviot, "IHT and the Great Wealth Transfer," 2025 [^{^3}]: HM Revenue & Customs, Inheritance Tax Statistics, 2024 [^{^4}]: Office for Budget Responsibility, "Inheritance Tax Forecast," March 2025 [^{^5}]: Office for Budget Responsibility, Economic and Fiscal Outlook, October 2024 [^{^6}]: Nuffield Foundation, "Intergenerational wealth transfers drive inequality in Britain," August 2020 [^{^7}]: Resolution Foundation, "Intergenerational rapport fair?", February 2022 [^{^8}]: International Longevity Centre UK, "Strengthening the intergenerational contract," January 2025 [^{^9}]: Quilter Cheviot, "IHT and the Great Wealth Transfer," 2025 [^{^10}]: Quilter research (via Prosperitas LTD analysis), 2021 [^{^11}]: HMRC, Inheritance Tax Statistics 2021-22

The value of investments and the income from them can fall as well as rise. You may not get back what you invest. Tax rules can change and the value of tax benefits depends on individual circumstances.

Inheritance tax planning is not regulated by the Financial Conduct authority.

Approver Quilter Financial Services Limited 22/12/25.